Thursday

It was a Thursday when we decided we wanted to go deeper.

It's been seven years since we met
less time since we had sex
less time since we fell
completely
in love,
made love,
even less time since we got married
and
plunged deep into the sea,
we thought.
But we started floating up pretty quick,
it's hard to hold a body down
in the depths
when forces keep tugging you
apart.
We thought about it,
and talked about it,
looking into each other’s eyes
hardly even knowing each other,
really,

after seven years.

After we decided we should:

grow up
get real
get out
of a storage unit
of a camper van
of the living on the road, my friend...
And get into
a town
a community
paying taxes
dues
speaking out
taking out the trash
and
talking to the neighbors
even when you don’t want to,
when you want to be
completely alone.

It’s been seven years since we met.
In seven years every cell in the human body is replaced,
science tells us,
changing your mind,
your body,
your soul,
maybe.

So, tonight,
we are two different people here.

Completely.

We can feel it.

And we get excited by each other
once again,
looking in those familiar eyes
deciding tonight
it’s time to go deeper.

It is thrilling to discover something so close
so tangible
so "in your face"
that you’ve been searching for all over the world
in other people’s eyes
in your work
friends
dreams
fantasies.

It's surprising.
Shocking.

Smiling now.
Thinking,
"Wow, I feel like I haven’t seen you for years."

Saddened then,

realizing we’ve been living in a shallow wet land of love and life
when there is a great blue ocean
to explore
together.

Dive deep.

"I see you now," he says.

And everything changes, again.